The Whirlwind of Racism: Helping Your Child Cope
Helping Your Child Cope with Racism
by Tizita Seifu MA, LPCS, LPC, RPT
Hi I am Tizita, a Board licensed Therapist in private practice providing adult and child therapy specializing in mental wellness, anxiety, depression, career and workplace, and parent-child relationships.
RACISM AND STRESS COPING
I was born to Ethiopian parents and raised in Europe for 6 years. When my family moved to the US, various races and cultures confronted and questioned my race and my very being. I often felt like I was before racial judges and juries.
It was a whirlwind. My experience was a sliver of the many ways that racism does not simply hold curiosity but arrogantly and presumptively questions, accuses, assumes, and demands. My head is still spinning because it’s a personal and communal whirlwind. Whether it is experiences like mine where an immigrant can quickly be both plunged into and excluded from a racial identity in the US or the many other experiences that doubt, deny and harm racial minorities in the US, it is often rooted in racism.
RACISM AND MENTAL HEALTH
The whirlwind of racism can and often does injure the mind, body and spirit. The need to belong, be successful and feel safe are core needs of every human being. Racism often assaults all of these intrinsic needs.
RACISM AND PARENTING
As a Black, Indigenous, Latino, or Asian person, it is uniquely challenging to keep your head above water due to the stress that comes from racism. As a parent, it adds another layer of stress due to a two-fold concern for you and your family’s wellbeing and safety. While the assault of racism continues, there are many ways to help your child cope in the face of racial stress.
Supporting the race related development of your child will go a long way in helping your child embrace the joy of racial identify and cope with the grief of racism.
RACE AND PARENTING
Parents have the first opportunity to establish racial beliefs in children. As parents affirm and educate children about the positive aspects of their unique racial identity and history, they will grow to value and celebrate their racial identity. If children are not guided toward accurate racial beliefs, they will show signs of racial bias by 4 years old.
Learning about Black, Latino, Asian and Arab history and experiences will provide more informed racial perspectives. Being honest and clear in conversations with your children is appropriate at any age and will sound different depending on your child’s age, maturity and temperament. Discussing dynamics of race, bias and privilege, and modeling healthy racial beliefs as a parent will help build healthier racial beliefs and coping skills in children and teens. Also valuable is being self-aware of your racial beliefs and emotionally aware of the impact of those beliefs. Cultivating diverse relationships and engaging in diverse family activities are key to increasing racial understanding and empathy, along with meaningful and significant community engagement.
Family counseling with a therapist that specializes in working with children can also help further facilitate coping and skills development in this area.
Professional Speaking and Training is available on this topic
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